He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
