I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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