i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
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Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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