Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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