The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
