areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I looked at my own cervix.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
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