Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
