i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
