he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
