I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I can't turn off my feet"
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize