I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Randomize
