I just cut my nipple shaving
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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