I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
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If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
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You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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