Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
