Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
