Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
