Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
