I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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