Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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