My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
so much tequila, so little girl.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
