So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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