I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
