dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize