Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
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