All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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