I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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