My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
