Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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