you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Randomize