she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
