but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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