Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize