I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
