DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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