So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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