I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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