Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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