I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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