If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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