therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
