Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(339): View more from Massachusetts

so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...

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(339): so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning... http://tfl.nu/swvs

Replies (40) Good night (656) Bad night (2679)
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(616): View more from Michigan

I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me

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(616): I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me http://tfl.nu/7pn8

Replies (8) Good night (2883) Bad night (971)
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(646): View more from New York

I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me

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(646): I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me http://tfl.nu/nl48

Replies (20) Good night (4759) Bad night (1018)
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(914): View more from New York

after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.

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(914): after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him. http://tfl.nu/2bsg

Replies (41) Good night (830) Bad night (6389)
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(732): View more from New Jersey

I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches

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(732): I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches http://tfl.nu/f64u

Replies (19) Good night (4052) Bad night (1193)
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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose

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(717): she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose http://tfl.nu/p9h0

Replies (32) Good night (13429) Bad night (1012)
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(202): View more from Washington, DC

the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex

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(202): the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex http://tfl.nu/fw26

Replies (12) Good night (5344) Bad night (1076)
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(720): View more from Colorado

Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.

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(720): Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad. http://tfl.nu/6s4w

Replies (4) Good night (653) Bad night (1065)
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(907): View more from Alaska

Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"

(414): View more from Wisconsin

I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea

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(907): Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed" (414): I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea http://tfl.nu/3884

Replies (19) Good night (1256) Bad night (2429)
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(518): View more from New York

No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?

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(518): No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark? http://tfl.nu/5sw5

Replies (2) Good night (425) Bad night (672)
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(716): View more from New York

I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.

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(716): I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed. http://tfl.nu/sc0t

Replies (6) Good night (1076) Bad night (409)
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(312): View more from Illinois

Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....

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(312): Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird.... http://tfl.nu/u9p7

Replies (1) Good night (380) Bad night (662)
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(740): View more from Ohio

Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.

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(740): Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me. http://tfl.nu/2duy

Replies (0) Good night (518) Bad night (351)
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(423): View more from Tennessee

Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box

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(423): Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box http://tfl.nu/1krj

Replies (6) Good night (549) Bad night (360)
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(415): View more from California

Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo

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(415): Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo http://tfl.nu/pp9q

Replies (0) Good night (315) Bad night (225)

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