Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
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some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
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Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home