i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....