Texts From Last Night

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  (310): View more from California

  I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.

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  (310): I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you. http://tfl.nu/ohi7
  Replies (39) Good night (919) Bad night (1164)
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  (562): View more from California

  that was a gay-test. you passed.

  (1-562): View more from California

  with flying rainbow colors i hope!

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  (562): that was a gay-test. you passed. (1-562): with flying rainbow colors i hope! http://tfl.nu/yxlu
  Replies (13) Good night (3910) Bad night (685)
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  Princesses don't give blow jobs

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  (616): Princesses don't give blow jobs http://tfl.nu/euq0
  Replies (69) Good night (2406) Bad night (5190)
• Favorite

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.

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  (918): I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical. http://tfl.nu/pf93
  Replies (49) Good night (6326) Bad night (1725)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining

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  (304): i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining http://tfl.nu/3fon
  Replies (9) Good night (5412) Bad night (781)
• Favorite

  (204): View more from Manitoba

  He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.

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  (204): He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina. http://tfl.nu/1ygc
  Replies (30) Good night (5855) Bad night (1875)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues

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  (917): you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues http://tfl.nu/bwbh
  Replies (7) Good night (4690) Bad night (1174)
• Favorite

  (219): View more from Indiana

  I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.

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  (219): I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore. http://tfl.nu/bvdb
  Replies (11) Good night (4305) Bad night (1844)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.

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  (207): just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries. http://tfl.nu/mz24
  Replies (3) Good night (3807) Bad night (757)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.

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  (816): I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today. http://tfl.nu/j3kd
  Replies (3) Good night (2075) Bad night (617)
• Favorite

  (04): View more from

  This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.

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  (04): This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street. http://tfl.nu/uumo
  Replies (5) Good night (1904) Bad night (576)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?

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  (202): Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry? http://tfl.nu/phvz
  Replies (1) Good night (1479) Bad night (427)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.

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  (513): I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point. http://tfl.nu/23a6
  Replies (2) Good night (332) Bad night (699)
• Favorite

  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear

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  (774): My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear http://tfl.nu/ln1o
  Replies (3) Good night (662) Bad night (400)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out

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  (315): you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out http://tfl.nu/5vn0
  Replies (1) Good night (558) Bad night (272)

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