Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  I will die if light touches me.

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  (206): I will die if light touches me. http://tfl.nu/jner
  Replies (18) Good night (1385) Bad night (792)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.

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  (248): I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships. http://tfl.nu/wu4m
  Replies (33) Good night (4502) Bad night (1334)
• Favorite

  (907): View more from Alaska

  Tell me the dirtiest joke you know

  (1-907): View more from Alaska

  Sarah Palin

  (907): View more from Alaska

  god, I love you

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  (907): Tell me the dirtiest joke you know (1-907): Sarah Palin (907): god, I love you http://tfl.nu/fmd4
  Replies (101) Good night (10736) Bad night (1479)
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.

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  (973): UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to. http://tfl.nu/mbqt
  Replies (26) Good night (5997) Bad night (1391)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'

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  (703): Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks' http://tfl.nu/njwf
  Replies (14) Good night (5383) Bad night (1481)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward

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  (732): Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward http://tfl.nu/ic98
  Replies (6) Good night (2354) Bad night (1967)
• Favorite

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread

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  (910): I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread http://tfl.nu/evst
  Replies (21) Good night (3720) Bad night (1873)
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out

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  (585): I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out http://tfl.nu/5zzk
  Replies (1) Good night (1693) Bad night (664)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.

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  (541): Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either. http://tfl.nu/a1p0
  Replies (9) Good night (2038) Bad night (774)
• Favorite

  (803): View more from South Carolina

  She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.

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  (803): She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker. http://tfl.nu/t2n2
  Replies (12) Good night (717) Bad night (1449)
• Favorite

  (530): View more from California

  Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.

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  (530): Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking. http://tfl.nu/uxvx
  Replies (4) Good night (550) Bad night (1183)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.

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  (330): multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint. http://tfl.nu/lrrp
  Replies (2) Good night (726) Bad night (346)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.

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  (513): If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can. http://tfl.nu/a0mj
  Replies (2) Good night (558) Bad night (314)
• Favorite

  (646): View more from New York

  he was definitely tindering while i gave him head

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  (646): he was definitely tindering while i gave him head http://tfl.nu/dzhu
  Replies (2) Good night (338) Bad night (975)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  I'm fucked.

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  (202): Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina". (202): I'm fucked. http://tfl.nu/ddzu
  Replies (6) Good night (353) Bad night (817)

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