so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
