On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
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don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
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The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.