walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
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