If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize