I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
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