I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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