Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Randomize
