i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
