ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
