I wanna bring you to show and tell
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
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