It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
