Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
