Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
