just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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