he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
