That's intense
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
